Alright, this post is personal. Real story.
The college relationship. How do we define such a thing? I don't even know. I thought dating was when two people like each other and one asks the other one out. However, recently I found myself in quite a pickle. A boy that I had been talking to decided we were dating. Or at least thats what I heard from my friends. Talk about an awkward conversation! I had to talk to him and tell him that we didn't really mesh! I was breaking up with someone that I didn't even know I was dating!
So I started thinking, how exactly do you define the college relationship? My friend John informed me that there are 3 stages to college dating according to him: hook-up, dating, and then the actual relationship. So is this true? I personally skip the "hook-up" stage. But dating before you start an actual relationship, I can definitely see how this is beneficial. You get to see the person one-on-one before you commit yourself to a relationship, which can be awkward to get out of. Most college students hang out in large groups so the date is nice to get away and really get to know the person. You get to know their likes and dislikes, interests, hobbies, and all other random facts in a location where you really are forced to talk. You can leave a dorm room when the conversation stops or turns forced, in a restaurant you're forced to sit there and find something new you have in common.
But my question still remains: how do we really define a relationship in college? Shouldn't we all be on the same playing field when it comes to this knowledge? How do people end up in a relationship and find out through their friends?
Oh college, will I ever figure you out?
1 comment:
I don't think there is a way to define relationships. People are so different in their personalities, and the way that they react to their environments and eachother, that relationships can only be molded by the people involved, not by standards and not by rules. For example, the three stages your friend mentioned may be good way for him to create meaningful relationships, but as you mentioned, it wasn't exactly right for you. I've recently celebrated a two year anniversary with my boyfriend, and we never really went through stages. We tended to just "hang out" until one day we realized we were meant to be a couple. We definitely never dated until after the relationship was solid, and these dates include dinner and movies, anniversaries or just sitting at home alone. Basically, anything that is just the two of us spending time together. The point is a relationship evolves from how a person makes you feel when you are with them, and that could even extend out to family and friends, not just boyfriends and girlfriends. But, if you enjoy spending time with someone, getting to know them for who they really are, flaws included, and they feel the same about you, (granted they may not as in your situation) it could be the begining of a beautiful relationship.
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